Eileen Wittig is the Associate Editor and author of the Lazy Millennial column at FEE. Prior to joining FEE, Eileen worked at the non-profit Gregorian Institute, doing every job imaginable, unknowingly setting herself up for a FEE takeover and the necessity to write in the third person. Eileen graduated from Benedictine College with a BA in English after tricking everyone into thinking that she was studying Political Science, which is quite possibly the most political thing a person can do in undergraduate school. She has lived in Germany, New Hampshire, Wisconsin, and Kansas, and is excited to have made Atlanta and FEE her new home.
I accidentally "tricked" a friend into going to the symphony rather than G-Eazy. Whoops. He had a good time regardless and on the way home said he’d “forgotten how it felt to get some culture in his veins.” Thankfully, there are a lot of ways to do that now, most of which are free, and all of which are efficient and laze-inducing.
The Crown is technically about how Elizabeth, Princess of York, became Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith. But by the end of the first season, you’re not watching to see what Elizabeth does. You know what she’s going to do, even without knowing history. You’re watching her husband, Prince Philip. Because she is the crown, and he is us.
You’ve done it. You’ve made it through the work week, through the traffic, and you’ve made it home. You unlock your door and wonder again how long it will take until these stupid keys are replaced with what cars already have – the ability to unlock when you get within a certain radius of the door, and the ability to open when you kick the bottom of the door.
If you get into a taxi you’re probably going to get someone who drives for a living, which means you won’t have the same networking opportunities. I didn’t do anything I normally wouldn’t, and suddenly I (potentially) have two jobs. I didn’t even have to drive myself to work. I had to talk to my driver, yes, but it was worth it. I entered his car with one job and left it with two.
The Declaration of Independence could be seen as the most perfect political document in history, inspiring millions of people for generations to fight for liberty against tyranny. But what if it had been written with Google Docs?
In the three years I've been on Twitter, my tweets usually get a couple retweets and a handful of likes. Three days ago my tweet got 2,200 likes and 1,500 retweets in 24 hours, and it wasn't even picked up by Buzzfeed. How does something like that happen?
By now we’ve all heard of the Christmas Truce of 1914, whether because we are cultured and learned citizens, or because we saw Sainsbury’s Christmas commercial a couple years ago. But no one talks about the best part of the truce – the beer.
Capitalism and the free market are indispensable. They create jobs, make the world more exciting, showcase humanity’s creativity, yada yada yada. But let’s think about their real benefit for a moment: they find me (you) ways to stay in bed longer.
Many people believe that advertising is really just modern piracy. The idea is that marketers exist to take your money and profit, and that is all. For some, this just seems crass. But does the profit motive negate the fact that marketing and advertising can influence people to be better, more culturally curious, tolerant, and globally accepting?
In August, 15 doctors in Aleppo wrote to President Obama asking for help. Fully two months later, nothing has been done, and the carnage is worse than ever. The memory of the little boy in the ambulance that tore our hearts has been lost in the dozens that have been seen since. But what if we the people skipped the middle bureaucrats and just accomplished what we wanted to happen?
Social media has changed the romance game, not just within the relationship itself, but also in how the relationship is seen in the world. It used to be that, starting about six months into a relationship, you would be asked, “Sooo...do you think you want to marry them?” Now it seems the prevailing question skips to something more along the lines of, "Sooo... which Pinterest reception are you envisioning?"
The hashtag #HowToConfuseAMillennial was trending on Twitter the other day, and most of the top tweets were along the lines of, "Create a problem and then blame millennials for it." Another response could have been, “Commit crimes, raise the criminal rate, then tell millennials to stop being violent.”
Apparently it is unacceptable for a person to take something from a tree, put it in a bucket, turn it into magic-tasting sugar, and sell it without a government-mandated middle man swooping in on a snowmobile to take most of the sugar, some of the money, and all of the credit.
If black market businesses can successfully build up a road under the table, imagine what "legitimate" entrepreneurs would build out in the open.
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